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Hoping for a Different Kind of Savior? Yeah, so were the Pharisees.

We cannot pay our own price. Our good can’t outweigh our bad. (Romans 3:23)

Step 3 is the magic key— The choice that sets your soul free. Not just “thinkin’ Jesus is nice,” We’re talkin’ full-send, paid-in-full price. You’ve tried your way—hit the wall. Now grace says, “Come as you are, that’s all.” 📖 Ephesians 2:5, plain and true: "By grace you’ve been saved”—not by you. So what’s the move? One word: TRUST. This step’s the start of life from dust.

$0.00. Goodwill. Eternal Life. Found in the clearance bin for the broken. Marked with blood, not glitter.

We come to believe that God is the one whose power can fully restore us.

Respawned from where I once lay slain.

Was That You, God? It didn’t feel like rage. It felt like righteousness—on a leash. A quiet yes beneath my breath. A whisper that said, “Speak.” She posted him. The new one. Fingers laced, lips pressed— while Tracy's grave still hadn’t settled. Fresh dirt doesn’t lie. So I asked You— Was that You, God? Did You hand me those words like a blade wrapped in grace? Did You speak through me to make it just? Or did I dress myself in holy and call it Yours? She asked, “How long am I supposed to wait?” And I said, “At least until Tracy’s dead.” God, You lit the truth of her adultery— I just held the lantern. I didn’t want revenge. I wanted gravity. I wanted the weight to land where it belonged. But all I got— was silence. So I ask again: Did You make it just through me? Were those Your words... or mine? Please— don’t let me mistake Your patience for Your absence.

A scream from the gut when God goes quiet. When prayers hit the floor. When pain feels like proof He left. But what if silence isn’t absence? What if the breaking is the beginning? He doesn’t stop all pain— but He never wastes it.

We dressed rebellion in gloss and glow, But lost the garden we were meant to know.

Before you were shaped by rhymes or roles, you were shaped by design—etched into a universe strung with order, beauty, and intention. The signs were always there: in spirals, in stardust, in you. He knew.

Still here… like a whisper in the echoes of my mind. Faint, but never silent. A presence that won’t let go.

The Observer’s Edge (a poetic rendering of the theistic equation) In the silence before light, nothing was fixed— only whispers of where things might be. Particles danced in a sea of maybe, waiting… for an eye to see. A gaze collapses the chaos— not by force, but by being. Reality forms around attention, like clay remembers the hands that shape it. But this world, this cradle of stars and soil, is no accident flung by chance. The dials of existence set with aching precision, as if Someone longed for life to bloom. So what are we to make of uncertainty that listens, of laws that love order, of a cosmos that waits to be witnessed? Some call it science. Some call it code. I call it a whisper— from God in the quantum fold.

Thanks a lot for staying silent when I asked you, when I needed your voice to drown out my own. I missed moments— priceless, my kids, Jimmy, his grandkids. I missed laughter and memories that won’t happen again. I chose comfort, my safe place, isolated and easy. And you let me. Thanks a lot for letting me hear only the whispers of regret. Next time, please, be louder than me.

Quantum Mechanics reveals the limitations of scientific explanations and suggests that reality may extend beyond what we can measure or fully understand.

Believing hard won’t make it true— We shape false gods from fear and pain. But truth, unbending, calls us through The heat that hammers soul from stain. Eyes wide open, not yet clear, Till fire revealed what thought could not. I met the flame, and in its sear, The lies I clung to came to rot. Face to flame—refined, remade— Not by my will, but mercy's aim. Now I trust what can't be swayed: God’s truth—unchanging, pure, untamed.

Some days I don’t feel seen by God. I have plenty—but still feel the gap. Like I have to bleed to prove belief. I want a miracle—just to know this isn’t one-sided. My son feels it too. Still, I mess up. Sin plays my rhythm like a beat it wrote. Does God just shake His head— “There he goes again”? I’m proud, broke, grateful, tired. Buzzless, sober, chasing meaning. I ache for more, but chains hold tight. George Burns isn’t God. And Gracie ain’t Grace. But maybe silence is where He builds the real me— too close to see it yet.

“Earned Grace (But Not Really)” I believed in God— like you believe in gravity. Real, but silent. There, but cold. Expected to hold me but not catch me when I fall. I kept receipts like a Pharisee. Did the work. Did the reading. Checked the box. Starred the margin. Prayed in italics and still felt unseen. You say He crowns me with mercy. I say it slips when I sin. You say He renews like the eagle. I say He clips wings if I fly too low. Still— I keep showing up. Fragile faith in a cracked cup, held in scarred hands that haven’t dropped me yet. Is it belief if it hurts to say it? If it fights my logic, my metrics, my math? Maybe. But if I’ve learned anything— it’s that God’s love isn’t earned. It’s just there. And that’s the scandal of it all.

Suit’s torn, boots worn thin— but my toes are pointed. You don’t rise by force— you rise by faith. And when God calls, your footing matters. Even when you’re down, point your toes toward the steps that lead through the narrow path to God.

With a hammer to build and a sword to defend, God equips me daily—just enough to overcome today's battles and build tomorrow's hope.

Just enough for today—God’s mercy, fresh and hot.

Recognize God's Voice

I spent years building altars to achievement— but none could save me. Success was loud, but the silence after was louder. I chased validation like oxygen, and found myself breathless, alone. Now I know— peace isn’t earned. It’s received. Not through effort, but surrender.

Sin no longer crouches. It lives here. It doesn’t knock—it whispers. Not outside, but beneath my skin. Not beside me, but through me. Not waiting, but steering. A serpent doesn’t stalk me from the shadows; it coils through my spine. My posture bends to it. My gaze sharpens at its suggestion. It rehearses the lies in my blood until they sound like truth. I once thought I was being hunted. But now I know—I was carrying the hunter. Inherited rebellion. Disguised as instinct. Dressed in my own voice. Each vertebrae holds a whisper I mistook as mine. But I know it now. By name. By nature. By its hiss. And still— I also know the One who crushes heads.

Born with it. Blamed others for it. Buried my brother beneath it. I was born into a broken pattern, but I fed it with pride. God warned me—sin was crouching. I let it in. But even then… He came looking for me.

I feel gifted. Truly. Like God handed me something rare. But if no one sees it… if no one hires me, if no one responds, if the doors stay shut— am I just a fool dressing wounds with pride? What is a gift if it sits unopened? Is it still a gift, or just a burden wrapped in hope? I want to believe that excellence speaks for itself. But silence is louder right now. And in that silence, I’m asking: Was I wrong to believe in this? God, if You gave me this, then show me where to carry it.

I exit before I enter—silence is safer than being seen.

I thought surviving alone made me strong. Turns out, asking for help was the bravest thing I ever did.

Surrender isn't defeat—it's the first step toward freedom.

Every day is a battle between impulse and integrity. Don’t let the loudest voice be the least true.

the thorns I wear don’t hide anymore— they shout. they pierce out. they tell the truth I used to bury. real doesn’t retreat. real leaves marks. real walks free. because silence obeys, but honesty rebels.

I didn’t see it then. But there it was—hope, tucked inside the wreckage, waiting to be noticed. The light didn’t erase the pain. It just meant I wasn’t alone in it anymore. This is the first step.

Sparks fly where edges meet. Twelve weeks ago the blade was dull; every swing since has ground away rust and ruin. Now the cut runs true. “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens another.” (Prov 27:17)

“It’s working.” That was the moment. The shift. The grip found pavement. The heart unlocked. Forgiveness didn’t slow him down—it launched him forward. Momentum has a sound. It hums. It roars. So he hit the next turn. Not perfect, but faithful. And the voice behind him didn’t yell “faster”— It simply whispered: “Carry on.”

Blessed are the hands that seize today’s grace; the Bread of Life will drive them steadily down the field, gaining faithful yards.

Iron breaks like brittle glass when Love strikes the shackle-pin. Freedom bought in scarlet coin sets ruined hearts to roar again. Sin once held the title deed— the Cross stamped PAID and gave it back. Now every step in Spirit-wind rings louder than the clamor of the past.

Owe nothing but LOVE—a lifelong debt splashed louder than any pop-art hue.

Pendulum shadows tally wounds while a stone-gray piece of hurt hangs, unsentenced, in the sky. Across the silent flats a wing chisels the horizon— breaking that weight into peace, lifting the debt, setting the forgiven free.

Your heart may blink low fuel—but only God knows where to fill up.

Your value is rooted in wisdom, experience, and the grace that shaped you

Unshaken, Unhidden Doesn't mean I've never been broken. It means I no longer hide from what broke me.

Kneel beneath the weight you hide, Strength is found when tears collide. Truth confessed, the chains unbind— Healing waits where hearts align.

The Man and the Boulder. There once was a man who walked through life with a massive boulder chained to his waist. He had carried it so long that he forgot when it was first fastened. Some days, he dragged it with effort. Other days, he painted it with bright colors to distract from its weight. People noticed the limp in his walk, but he smiled and said, "It’s nothing—I’m strong." Over time, the boulder slowed him down. He missed moments with his children. He turned down invitations, not because he didn’t want to go— but because the boulder made the journey too heavy. One day, exhausted and alone, he fell beside a well and cried out, "Why, God, does this weight never lessen?" A voice replied, "Because you’ve never asked Me to cut the chain." The man trembled. "But the boulder is mine—it holds everything I’ve done wrong. If I let it go… who will I be?" The voice whispered, "Free." With shaking hands, the man lifted the chain toward heaven. The chain snapped. The boulder rolled away. And for the first time, the man stood tall— not because the burden was gone, but because he finally gave it to the One who could bear it.

Come closer. That’s the way home.

I nearly followed comfort out the door, but You whispered in the silence: “Come closer.” And I turned— not to shame, but to a love that was already near.

I sit in rooms I longed to enter and dream of the quiet I left behind. A smile on my face, a storm in my chest— the crowd pulls me in, but I anchor elsewhere. I give, and give, and disappear. I chase peace in aloneness, but it hides in the faces I avoid, the laughter I missed, the arms I gently declined. I thought I was loving well by stepping back. But love does not always mean silence. Sometimes, it means staying. So Lord— teach me to be content not in the safety of escape, but in the sacred mess of presence.

I sweep the dust of who I was, and find the shape of who I’m becoming. Purpose whispers in broken things— and in the clearing, I draw closer.

Held in the Spiral He is the still point in the spiral of stars, the whisper beneath the thunder of worlds. What we call chaos He calls becoming. What we call ruin He rebuilds in rhythm. The unseen patterns sing: All things hold in Him.

This is a day for quiet celebration and humble awareness. You’ve been doing the heart work. The hard work. And now—without forcing it—you’re starting to notice it

Blessed are the broken who rise, for their mess will become His message, and their lives will shout of glory.

I do not flee in fear, but faith— not from fire, but toward the flame that heals. God does not just let me escape— He trades my ruin for something real.

The Parable of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. There were three men—The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly—each chasing after buried treasure in a desert wasteland. The Good followed a moral code. He helped others when he could, but even he had secrets—self-righteous pride, wounds he never let anyone see. The Bad took what he wanted, left people behind, and trusted no one. He built his life on survival and control. His past was littered with betrayal, cruelty, and regret—though he’d never admit it. The Ugly was caught in between. Messy, impulsive, always just one mistake away from disaster. He wanted to change. He hated the lies he told, the shame he carried, but he didn’t believe he was worth much more than the bounty on his head. They all thought the treasure—buried gold—would be the thing to fix everything. Redemption, freedom, purpose… if only they could find it. When they finally arrived at the cemetery, where the treasure was buried, they found something unexpected. Not gold. Not weapons. Not justice. A cross. With a note that read: “While you were still lost, I died for you.” It didn’t matter who had done the most good. It didn’t matter who had done the most wrong. And it didn’t matter who was the most broken. The treasure was grace—and it was for all of them. Even the bad. Even the ugly. Even the one who didn’t think he needed it. One by one, they dropped their weapons. Not because they were perfect, but because they were finally known. Moral: There’s no showdown at the foot of the cross. Only surrender. Only mercy. And the truth that the Good died for the bad and the ugly—so we could all be made new.

Blessed are the honest listeners, for when they don’t pretend to know, they make room for real understanding to grow.

Blessed are the bold who break the loop— the ones who rip the cords, not cover them. For they will rise unknotted, unapologetic, and free.

Parable of the Basement Kings. Wayne and Garth were two basement broadcasters with a passion for music, jokes, and messing around with whatever gear they could find. Their little public access show had a cult following, but deep down, both of them carried a hidden belief: “We’re not worthy.” Not of attention. Not of success. Not of being known—truly known—and still wanted. One day, they got an invitation: A global broadcast. Prime time. A stage beyond their wildest dreams. All expenses paid. All access granted. Garth squinted at the offer. “Dude… this has to be a mistake.” Wayne panicked. “We can’t go. We’re not worthy.” So they rehearsed rejection before they even showed up. But the invitation came again. And this time, the note read: “I know exactly who you are. I’ve watched every episode. Every awkward moment, every inside joke, every weird guitar solo. And I still want you on the stage. Not because you’ve earned it. But because I’m giving it. Show up—just as you are.” So they did. Hands shaking, voices cracking, Wayne and Garth stood under the lights. And when the world saw their raw, honest selves— they didn’t hear laughter. They heard applause. Moral: God’s grace isn’t a stage you earn your way onto. It’s a gift you’re invited into. You’re not worthy—and that’s the point. Jesus is. And He’s handing you the mic anyway.

Speak soft, and still the waves with love.

This is the day you choose your next fire: The one that burns you, or the one that refines you.

Blessed are the ones who rise, for the first step upward will clear what the fall had clouded.

I refuse to dig any deeper. Today, I’m building steps instead. Small, structured choices. One breath, one step at a time. If I did it before, I can do it again.

Blessed are the surrendered, for they will not be patched, but remade— from ashes into image, from striving into grace.

This is not repair— this is resurrection.

Blessed are the renamed, for their past no longer holds their name—God calls them His own.

Too far gone? That’s where it starts. Grace breaks chains and cracks hard hearts. What we call wrecked, He calls worth. Redemption rages into birth.

So when the voice of sin grows loud, Lift your eyes above the cloud.

What hides in shadow weighs the soul, a secret wound that takes its toll. But truth, though trembling on the tongue, unlocks the healing yet unsung. Confession cracks the silent stone, and in that breach, you’re not alone. For where the honest voice is found, the grace of God flows all around.

Blessed are the weary who begin again.

The fire didn’t consume you. It clarified you.

Blessed are those who resist the world's mold, for they will be refined by the fire of God.

The Refining

Surrender to the scarred hands that already carried you home.

Heaven didn’t wait for the grave— It broke into breath, whispered through ruin, and grew roots in today.

She sings for something water can’t fix.

BLESSED are the broken who still move.

Reach out with trembling hands. There’s a light that says: you still belong.

When you’re behind and almost beaten— remember: there’s more time on the clock than you think. So throw it. Your story. Your surrender. Your heart.

I grip the wheel like it’ll change the storm. But the sky won’t listen— only God does.

I thought I had to hide it— that pain makes people turn away. But then someone stayed. And the silence broke into grace.

To serve is to vanish, not to be missed but to matter. Where love is a whisper, and sacrifice looks like flowers on 9/11.

I did what I wanted— ate the flame, fed the ache, called it freedom. But self-will is a starving king, never full, always loud. Still, a quieter voice waits. It doesn't shout— it invites. Let go. Step back. Be transformed. Not conformed. This will isn't mine— but it heals.

I hit the bottom before I bounced up.

It's the only way this works.

Stop feeding the old hunger and start craving something new.

Blessed are the tenderhearted, for they carry Christ’s kindness into a world that forgot how to feel.

This isn’t a shortcut. It’s a surrender. Here it is. Work the plan.

Every bruised step forward breaks more ground than standing still ever could.

Healing starts with truth and movement.

Bring it to light.

Feeling Different (Just like the rest of us)

Blessed are the consistent, for their next step will be lit by faith, not sight.

Trust God. He will restore you to who He designed you to be.

Gratitude Is Light

You’re Not Meant to Do This Alone

Raw honesty, warmth, and divine intimacy—like a whispered confession after a long silence. If you remain in Me and My words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. – John 15:7

By God's strength, live in faith rather than in worry.

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” — Hebrews 11:1

Move away from comfort toward divine purpose

Turning point where isolation yields to connection, and intention becomes the path out of the dark.

The enemy wants me isolated. But God says shared is a burden divided. This week I’m learning that the call I avoid is the one I most need to make.

Bad company corrupts good character.” — 1 Corinthians 15:33 You can’t expect different results if you continue doing the same things with the same people.

Recovery reshapes us—less of me, more of Him, one surrendered day at a time.

When everything shakes, you’ll need something stronger to stand on—and the Word is rock beneath your feet.

Blessed are the restless, for they will rise from the rut and walk paths made new.

I need more from you, so I pray more to you. I expect great results.

I’m mentally unraveling the theology and clarity behind my moral compass—like peeling back assumptions and asking hard questions The truth doesn’t just set you free. It exposes the lie you were surviving with. Rigorous honesty is the first crack in the wall. I’m not proud of everything I wrote here. But I’m proud I didn’t hide it.

Peeling off a layer, revealing the raw. I’m not satisfied with my past work… My best is yet to exist.

Don’t wait for perfection—take the next right step Wisdom doesn’t always feel clear, but doing nothing isn’t the answer Faith in motion > perfection in pause

Sometimes the storm isn’t the threat— it’s the turning point.

it’s what it’s rooted in. Go deeper. That’s where healing begins.

It’s the first flicker of confidence—real, shaky, but building—like morning light brushing closed eyelids, stirred awake by a whisper: "You can overcome."

Consistency. Keep coming back

Fear of giving up, of slipping back into isolation, and the quiet cry for connection and consistency that’s threaded throughout this reflection.

Like a thought you never said out loud

Showing up even when it’s hard

You can’t mend forever—only surrender, one honest day at a time.

Even in the ruin of your silence, in the wreckage of not being enough, He doesn’t flinch—He loves you not despite the mess, but because it’s real.
